What to Talk About in a Chat Room
· 5 min read · The DoChat Team
The hardest part of a chat room is not finding people. It is the moment after you have said hello and realised you have nothing prepared. Here is what actually works, why most conversations stall, and sixty openers you can borrow.
Why most conversations die at message three
Watch a chat room for a while and you will see the same pattern: hello, hello, where are you from, and silence. The problem is that both people are trading facts, and facts run out immediately.
What sustains a conversation is opinions, stories and follow-up questions. "Where are you from" gets a one-word answer. "What is the most overrated thing about your city" gets a paragraph, an argument and a laugh.
The rule is simple: ask things that cannot be answered in one word.
Openers that work
Light, specific, easy to answer, and impossible to reply to with a single word.
- What is the most overrated tourist spot in your city?
- What is something everyone likes that you secretly cannot stand?
- Best street food where you live — and be specific.
- What is the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
- Tea or coffee, and how strongly do you feel about it?
- What is a film everyone loves that you fell asleep during?
- What did you want to be when you were ten?
- What is the worst haircut you have ever had?
- What song do you have on repeat right now?
- What is the most useless skill you are weirdly good at?
- Beach or mountains, and why is the other one wrong?
- What is the strangest job you have ever had?
- Early riser or up at 2am — which are you?
- What is something you have changed your mind about recently?
- What is the best meal you have eaten this month?
If you are in a city or regional room
Shared local context does half the work for you.
- Which part of the city would you never live in, and why?
- What do outsiders always get wrong about this place?
- Best place here for a meal under two hundred rupees?
- Has the traffic actually got worse or do we just complain more?
- What is the one place you always take visitors?
- Which local shop or stall would you be genuinely sad to lose?
- What is the weather like with you right now?
- Rent here — reasonable or absurd?
- What is the most underrated neighbourhood?
- Where did you grow up, and how different is it now?
When the conversation is already going
These deepen a conversation without making it heavy.
- What is something you are looking forward to?
- What would you do with a completely free Sunday?
- What is the best advice anyone ever gave you?
- What is a small thing that instantly improves your day?
- What are you better at now than you were a year ago?
- What is something you would like to learn but keep putting off?
- What is your most irrational fear?
- If money were not an issue, what would you do with your time?
- What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
- What is something you own that you would never replace?
- What is a habit you are glad you built?
- What is the last thing that genuinely surprised you?
- Who is someone you admire that most people have not heard of?
- What is a small risk that paid off for you?
- What is something you believed as a child that you now find hilarious?
Light and funny
For when the room is in a good mood.
- What is the pettiest hill you will die on?
- Pineapple on pizza — defend your position.
- What is the worst gift you have ever received?
- What fictional character would be insufferable in real life?
- What is your most embarrassing autocorrect story?
- What is a conspiracy theory you find genuinely entertaining?
- What would the title of your autobiography be?
- What is the most useless fact you know?
- What is your go-to karaoke song, honestly?
- If you had to eat one dish for a month, what is it?
- What is a trend you never understood?
- What animal would you least want to fight?
- What is the worst film you have watched all the way through?
- What is the strangest thing in your fridge right now?
- What is a rule you break constantly?
- What would you ban if you were in charge for a day?
- What is the most ridiculous thing you have ever argued about?
- What is your greatest achievement that nobody would be impressed by?
- What is the most overrated snack?
- What is something you are unreasonably competitive about?
What not to open with
These reliably end the conversation before it starts.
- "asl" or any demand for age, sex or location.
- Comments about someone’s appearance.
- Anything sexual. It gets you blocked and often reported.
- A request for a phone number, Instagram or a photo.
- The same message copied to everyone in the room.
- "Hi" on its own, six times.
Keeping it alive
Two habits do most of the work. First, when someone answers, ask what it was like rather than moving to the next question — that is the difference between a conversation and an interview. Second, offer something of your own alongside every question you ask.
And when it naturally winds down, let it. Not every conversation needs to be rescued.
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Join the Random roomFrequently asked questions
- How do I start a conversation in a chat room?
- Ask one person, by nickname, a specific question that cannot be answered in one word — ideally tied to the room you are both in.
- Why does nobody reply to me?
- Usually the opener. "Hi" and "asl" give people nothing to respond to. A specific, light question gets far better results.
- What should I not say in a chat room?
- Avoid "asl", comments on appearance, anything sexual, requests for contact details, and copy-pasting the same line to everyone.
- How do I keep a conversation going?
- Ask what something was like rather than moving on, and share something of your own each time you ask a question.